You’ve Made a Mistake. . .Now What?

I few weeks ago I wrote a post about why it’s OK to get things wrong. And a thought has been nagging me since. . .easier said than done.

I <<get>> that it’s OK and good to make mistakes, but that knowledge doesn’t make failing any easier.

Why do we fear failure? Or, put another way, why are we afraid to try something new? I can’t answer for everyone, but for me I’m worried about a few things.

–I’m afraid it will hurt (physically and/or emotionally)

–I wonder if I’ll be good enough or if someone could do it better

–I worry about what others will think of me

–I think about my past failures and decide that they will determine the outcome of every adventure

No one likes living their life in fear, but often the motivation to avoid failures exceeds the motivation to succeed.

UGH!

What are some things we can do when the fear of making a mistake is holding us back from doing something? What are some ways to help us move on after mistakes have been made? Here are some practical tips to try when faced with a fear of failing. . .

 

1. Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen?”

Full disclosure. . .I actually started this blog 2 weeks ago. I didn’t publish it though, because I started having doubts. I’m the first to admit that my writing skills are a work in progress and that thought got the best of me last week. I didn’t think I was good enough to write a blog. Luckily I have a supportive husband, who, when I cry on his shoulder about my fears, asks me wise questions to get me thinking about other results.

Q.What is the worst that could happen if I write a crappy blog post?
People might leave nasty comments and then not read other posts. (I’m not very “worst case scenario”. This is the worst I could think of.)

In the end, that didn’t seem like too big of a deal. (But, please don’t write a nasty comment. I’ll take helpful critiques though.)

 

2. Instead of asking “What if I fail?” ask “What if I succeed?” Mark Twain is known for saying, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” Take a chance.

I remember one summer at the pool a few years ago. Braedi (my oldest daughter) was afraid to jump off the diving board. She really wanted to, and I could see the inner battle she was fighting. She never did, though, and to this day regrets her decision.

 

3. Remind yourself that it doesn’t have to be perfect. Learning is a process. Often we compare our current selves to someone’s end self. We forget that they started where we are.

I’m constantly telling my kids that the best way to get good at something is to keep practicing.

I heard an analogy once. . .Pretend you are visiting a jaguar assembly plant. You get to see the whole care-making process. At any point along the assembly line the jaguar looks like a pile of metal. But you probably don’t say, “Look at that pile of junk! It will never be a jaguar!” You know that if it stays on the path, it will be a jaguar. The same is for us. If we stay on the path to success, we will be successful.

 

4. Process the emotion of fear.

I recently I listened to a podcast that taught how to process emotions. The presenter says that when we feel negative emotions we tend to resist and push them away, distract ourselves and try to cope, or process them. She says its more healthy to process the emotion. And she reminds her listeners that the emotion isn’t going to hurt you. She says in order to process the emotion you first need to name it it one word. Then lean into the emotion. Ask how it makes you feel? What color is it? How would  you explain it to an alien? She then teaches that thoughts create emotions and feelings. You need to uncover the thoughts that are leading to the feeling and change your thoughts.

 

5. Fear is overcome by action.

I love this video clip by Mel Robbin’s about counting backwards from 5 and then taking action. The quick decision pushes out doubt. Powerful!

Another way to take action is to break the task down into more manageable chunks. I love the phrase “walk a mile, see a mile”. Sometimes we can’t see the end result, but we can see the next step. Then when we achieve that step we can see the next and so on. I have a vision of inspiring and strengthening thousands of people, but I don’t know what that will look like. So for right now, I’m trying to reach a few. I will see the next step in my journey as I take this step.

 

6. Use affirmations. The minute a negative thought like fear comes into your head, combat it with an affirmation. Replace the negative with positive. Surround yourself with positive.

I am worthy.

I am my own superhero.

I don’t sweat the small stuff.

I can. I will.

I can do hard things.

I am who I need to be right now.

I overcome fears by following my dreams.

I am in charge of how I feel and I am choosing happiness.

I am enough.

I have the power to create change.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

 

 

And finally, if you do try and fail, don’t give up. Ask yourself these 3 questions:

What can I learn from this experience?
How can I grow from it?
What are 3 positive things that will come out of it?

What are you waiting for? Go ahead! Give it a try!