Battling Limiting Beliefs

This year I set an intention to learn more about me. This means a lot of things, but one part is to take time to think about stuff and understand what it means for me—being introspective.

I had the opportunity to put this in to practice last week.

I’ve been participating in a program hosted by Mel Robbins called The Best Decade Ever. The main premise so far is to teach us how to dream and to start exploring some of our dreams. One day, as part of the process, she did a mini training on limiting beliefs.

I think I’ve always skimmed over that phrase whenever anyone talks about it. Maybe because I’m pretty confident in myself and what I can do, but also maybe because I’ve never wanted to stop and think about it.

Her training isn’t the first time I’ve heard of limiting beliefs. In fact it has been something I’ve been hearing a lot of over the last month or two. And when that happens, it usually means “the universe” is trying to tell me something. So, I decided to do something about it.

Limiting beliefs are something you believe to be true that limit you in some way. They are lies you tell yourself about why you can’t do something or don’t deserve that thing. They are beliefs that are less than satisfying. Limiting beliefs are formed by repeated thoughts and interactions. They might have come from something a family member or teacher said or a negative thought you say repeatedly to yourself.

I realized that one of the limiting beliefs I have is something I’ve been aware of for a while. I guess I didn’t want to face it. Or maybe I wasn’t aware of how limiting it was.

It’s a belief that I can’t do things on my own; specifically, that I can’t do things without Jonathan.

I’m not really sure where the belief stemmed from, but I’m pretty sure I started believing it when Jonathan’s depression and anxiety became more pronounced. Stuff that we normally did together, I had to do by myself or not do them. And usually I chose to not do them, or I did them but not to the best of my ability. I felt like I needed to have him with me to be successful.

The first step is to identify your limiting belief. Here are a few things you can do to help recognize them:
–remember that your behavior is an indicator of your beliefs
–make a list of the areas in your life where you feel challenged
–make a list of the good and bad beliefs pertaining to those challenge areas
–identify the beliefs that are having the greatest negative impact and consider how your behavior would change if you didn’t believe that thought
–ask where you came up with that belief

Before you can move on to the step of replacing your limiting belief, there is another step you must do. I’m reading Gabby Bernstein’s new book Super Attractor. In the first chapter she teaches that between identifying the negative, limiting belief and choosing the next best thought, you need to forgive the thought and yourself for being misaligned. I love the healing aspect of forgiving.

Now comes the cool part of replacing the limiting belief. Mel Robbins says that after you identify your limiting beliefs, it’s time to come up with new, empowering thoughts. She calls it “Think This, Not That”. She has you write all your limiting beliefs on one half of a paper. On the other half you write what you are going to think instead. You can do this with any negative belief. Here are a few examples to get you started. You can also learn more about the process here.

I’m too old.  ——–> I’ve got years of experience to put to use.
I’m not good enough.   ——–>  I deserve it.
I’ve already failed so many times.  ——–>  I’ve figured out ways that don’t work and I have learned from those experiences.
Someone has already done it.  ——–>  They haven’t done it my way.
I don’t deserve it.  ——–>  If I work hard, I’ll earn it.

And mine. . .
I can’t do it by myself.  ——–>  I am good enough. Even though I love having Jonathan by my side, I know that I am capable of doing things on my own.

Now it’s your turn. Do you have a limiting belief? Do the work to identify it, forgive the thought, and think of THIS thought that you can use instead. Let me know how it turns out.