Look Unto Me in Every Thought

I survived trek! I don’t think I’ve ever smelt so badly though. Or worked so hard. Or depended so much on the Lord.

One phrase of the trek scripture/motto was “Look unto me in every thought.” I didn’t realize until I got back home how much I “looked unto” my Heavenly Father for help and support.

Full disclosure. . .I’m not much of a pray-er. I say my prayers every night and most mornings, but I wouldn’t say that they are pourings out of my heart. They are mostly a thing to check off before I fall asleep. I’ve gone through phases where I try to be better at praying but unfortunately they don’t last long. There are times where my heart is troubled and I turn to prayer. Or when I feel the need for a constant prayer in my heart.

Trek was one of those time where extra special prayers were needed. As soon as we got our assignment to be a Ma and Pa, I started praying. And I prayed often and hard the whole time we were on trek.

I prayed that we would have good “kids”. They were great kids! Never did they complain. They ALL worked hard the whole time. They got along well and watched out for each other. Most of them were there because they wanted to be. For one morning devotional I asked each kid to say why they were there on trek. One said his mom made him, another said he was bored, but the rest said that they had older siblings/cousins/friends who had gone before and came home raving about the experience. Those kids hoped for a similar experience.

I prayed that our “family” would be open to inspiration and that we could be a resource/channel for that inspiration. Even though family time and company time didn’t go as I envisioned, we did have a few opportunities to share scriptures and experiences, partake in devotionals, and ponder on the lives of the pioneers.

I prayed that we would have the energy and the right attitude to push/pull the handcarts on little sleep and little food. We arrived at the starting point and started hiking around 5:30 PM. Not very far into our hike, “Indians” raided the carts and stole our snack bags. Dinner that night was a bowl of broth and a roll. Everyone went to bed tired and hungry. The Mas and Pas knew that the next morning we would be awoken EARLY by an angry mob. We needed all the energy and good attitude we could get.

I prayed for strength. The last day was the women’s pull. We all knew it was coming. I woke up anxious that morning even though I knew that we could do it. I’d seen how hard the girls in my “family” worked. I was confident that we would be able to accomplish the task, but I was nervous. Actually I was an emotional wreck. From the moment I saw my son lined up with the Mormon Battalion to the time we pushed off on our own, I cried. I can’t put into words the emotions that were in my heart. The emotions are all coming back, and, as I write, I’m fighting back the tears. I feared for my son. I  missed my husband and his strength. I felt the support of angels who had experienced this before us. The ancestor that I walked for had a paralyzed husband and only one son old enough to be a help to her, but also old enough to join the Battalion. She didn’t want him to go and leave her to do the work of crossing the plains by herself. After a dream, though, she knew that he needed to go and that she would be protected. As I watched the men leave, I remembered that story and was comforted to know that her spirit would be with us. I also know that our men were praying for us. At one point I heard singing and knew that they were singing for us. We rounded a bend and could see them across the way. Their singing warmed my heart. I knew they were singing for us to give us strength. The push was hard. We had to work together and communicate with each other to be able to make it up and down the big hills. It felt so good at the end to know that we’d made it.

Lastly, I prayed with gratitude. Gratitude for a shower and a warm, soft bed. Gratitude for a good experience. Gratitude for a good “family”. And gratitude for a Heavenly Father who sent us to Earth to prepare ourselves to see Him again. I learned that I can look unto Him in every thought.