25 Ways to Show Love

It’s a basic human need to love and be loved.

And everyone has a primary way of showing and receiving love.

Like spoken languages, we all have a love language—a language we “speak” to show affection.

Gary Chapman has written a book all about the different languages of love called “The Five Love Languages”. It is a must read for anyone looking to win at the game of relationships.

Gary believes that there are 5 ways people communicate love—Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Giving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. He says that typically a person will express love the same way he receives love.

There’s a story of a young couple. They both work outside of the home. When they come home, she cooks a nice meal and cleans the kitchen and he relaxes in the living room. He decides the best way to show his love for her is to go help her in the kitchen. But she gets hurt and angry. She thinks that he doesn’t appreciate or value her work. Her love language is words of affirmation while his is acts of service. He was speaking his own language to her and she wasn’t understanding what he was saying.

My goal tonight is to help you better understand the different love languages and give you tools to apply them to those you love.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION 

A person with this love language expresses and receives love through words. They need to hear words of love, encouragement, and kindness to feel loved. They love specific, unsolicited compliments.

• Write a letter about a special memory
• Write a list of all the things you like about them and share it
• Praise them in front of others
• Express appreciation
• Notice the good things they do and tell them often

 

 

QUALITY TIME

This love language is all about spending meaningful time together and engaging with the other person. A person with this love language needs you to give them your undivided attention. They love quality conversation and quality activities.

• Put away screens and talk on the couch
• Go for a walk together
• Take a drive, just the two of you
• Run errands together
• Schedule time alone

 

GIFT GIVING

A person with this love language loves to give and receive gifts. Gifts show the receiver that they are being thought of and cared for. The physical gift is a symbol of the thought behind it.

• Grab their favorite candy on the way home
• Bring them a slushy at work/school unexpectedly
• Give a spontaneous, thoughtful gift
• Bring something home from a vacation/business trip
• Give a sticker, flower, or simple drawing

 

 

ACTS OF SERVICE

This love language is about doing practical things for someone else. It’s a language of action.

• Wash their car for them
• Do their chores for them
• Make their favorite meal/treat
• Take out the trash, vacuum, wash the dishes or another chore without being asked
• Make their bed

 

 

PHYSICAL TOUCH

A person with this love language shows and receives love through any kind of physical touch—hand holding, back rubs, kisses, etc. It fosters a sense of belonging and security.

• Hold their hand unexpectedly
• Give them a hug at least 5 times a day
• Sit close together on the couch/cuddle
• Give a gentle back rub
• Have a tickle fight

 

 

The challenge is to discover the language of your spouse and your children and your friends and choose to love them in that language. Not your own. This can be a difficult task. It takes effort to speak in a language not your own.

Jonathan’s main love language is words of affirmation and mine is quality time. As much as I love Jonathan and know that he is amazing, I find it awkward to tell him. I just feel like it sounds silly when I put my feelings into words like that. But, I try to do it consistently because I know that he needs to hear it. It’s also hard for him to speak mine. Jonathan is an introvert and prefers to spend time alone, but he makes and effort to spend time with me because he loves me.

Do you know your love language? How about the languages of those around you—spouse, children, friends? These are just a few interpretations of how you can show your loved ones how much you love them, but don’t let it be limiting.

We would love to hear the ways you give and receive love in your relationships. Share your ideas with our readers below.

Not sure what you or your spouse’s love languages are? Take the quiz!